I’ve been craving some fried bread for a while. After visiting this place I will not be touching anymore fried bread, or full English in general, with a barge pole for a while. Belchers satisfied the craving so much that I had to do a couple laps up and down Brighton pier to bring myself back to life. Had a man ever jumped to his death into the freezing ocean from a fry up overload… probably not but it was close to being a world first. The atmosphere cultivated is exactly what you want from any proper cafe. A warming welcome from a sweet lady which feels like she’s essentially welcomed you into her living room contrasted by some of the most bleak looking geezers you’ve ever laid eyes on solemnly chowing down on an extra portion of beige. The stain glass full English in the window was beautiful and lures you in for a colourful culinary experience. The reality is your in for ever shade of brown in the working man’s rainbow. And your reward you’ll find at the end is big pot of regret. Don’t get me wrong this is a positive review. It’s the real full English experience. It’s like I was in Layer Cake and was about to watch Morty take a kettle to the face. One bloke came into the cafe and the dialogue was as such (names replaced): Geezer 1: alright carol how’s it going? Carol: alright Steve, just the usual today? Geezer 1: just a cuppa tea carol Carol: so no food today? Geezer 1: nah a full English as well of course (insert look of surprise and disgust at carols suggestion) Notes on ordering etiquette: swapping of items is tolerated BUT not the tomatoes which in hindsight is fare. I respect da rulez from Carol. Carol knows about breafastnomics and she doesn’t hold back on teaching you. Ordering tip: an additional half size portion of bubble n squeak between two people is definitely enough food. You don’t want to find yourself staring into the abyss off the end of the pier. Only criticisms would be: - sausage was laid end-to-end (see picture)… savage behaviour - the egg touching the beans could be considered negligence - I can confirm the bacon was not cooked on a radiator Ongoing debate: is it acceptable to serve fried bread alongside untoasted buttered bread? Someone has since told me you should make a friend bread sandwich (normal bread outside, fried bread in the middle)… i will be returning to conquer such a feat