![Zomato]( "Recensione")
The Vibe
When you ask people where they live, they don’t normally give you an area. They give you the nearest public transport station. Who knows where Fitzrovia or Belgravia are? Tottenham Court Road and Victoria? Got it. This is just as well for Clapham because Clapham has two Overground stations and three Underground. Clapham Junction is so big and so connected that even people living north of the river use it to get into Victoria or Waterloo quicker. The Schoolhouse is in Battersea. Nearest station: Clapham Junction. You’re welcome. But it’s on this great little stretch that falls in between RuggerBugger-land and Nappy Valley. No chanting and no pushchairs. It’s on a street of bars and restaurants (St. John’s Hill) for South Londoners with taste and without offspring.
So, for this demographic, The Schoolhouse is perfect. It’s for people who have been out of school just long enough to enjoy the trip down memory lane, but not so long as to induce an expectant mother into a panic about the 11+.
The Order
Cool menu. Sticks with the theme. Starters are listed under “Registration”, sharers under “Teacher Conference” and mains are split into Old School and New School. Glasses are ‘stemless’ and many of the dishes are served on colourful plastic plates with specific compartments.
There’s a fantastic selection of beers so even though it’s a date, I suggest trying a beer each first before you dive into the Pinot Noir.
Sponge and custard for dessert, obviously. I knew one kid at school who only ate sponge and custard. He wouldn’t eat lunch unless it was on and if it was on he’d eat all of it.
The Game
I think it’s time to share some stories about when you were naughty at school e.g. “Once I was messing about and my biology teacher said, “Tom, I’ve really gone off you” to which I replied, “That does suggest you were once on me.”
This place is the perfect stimulus for cheeky conversation. Sure, you messed about at school, but does that mean you’re still a bit naughty now? Be suggestive, but keep it coy. And certainly don’t start comparing Facebook photos from your school days. She’s pouting. He’s posturing. Keep it strictly anecdotal.
Did you ever have a crush on one of your teachers? Or did it go a bit further? Did you ever do it at school? Did you ever show up to school drunk? Hint at your inner geek/jock/cheerleader – delete as appropriate.
The Faults
The exam at the end. Kidding. No faults here.
Sex factor
4. Naughty at school. Lost innocence. Am I still naughty? Yeah, I think this place is sexy.
Delicious food with new things to try! We ordered the porkchop and the steak and everything was absolutely spot on!
Plenty of vegan/veggie options as well.
I had the sweet caramel gnocchi as dessert and it was so scrumptious!
Service was great and overall a great chill restaurant to go back to.
We'll definitely be back!
Had the Vegan roast- was soooo good! nice to have an actual wellington (with 'feta' mmm) rather than just the normal plate of veggies. Service was on point- lovely staff and great atmosphere too. Shout out to the welsh waiter who looked after us.
My friend got the beef roast and loved it- plenty of gravy too haha. x
Great burger and nice atmosphere. We add a delicious diner on a Saturday night. The food was excellent and the staff friendly. Huge selection of beers as well.
Love......... The School House....
Buy one get one free on draught lager and cocktails from 1730-1830 which is excellent value for money.
Very short walk from Clapham junction station and great outdorr seating to watch the world go by.
Excellent menu , had brunch here at an amazing deal.
Staff wise, everyone is awesome and friendly and always running around after everyone, and will do their best to get you a seat outside the front.
The School House Pils Lager is under a fiver for a pint and really refreshing.
Very nice café, good food, friendly staff and warm décor . It's not the usual café for mums with babies in fact you order alcohol as well and it's a bit more noise than you would expect from a cafe.
This place is great. The guy who (I think) runs it really loves what he does. He loves talking to customers and has fun experimenting with the food. The Laphroaig mayo and haggis balls is a great example. When he was out of hazelnut ice cream he suggested vanilla and hazelnut liqueur: it was amazing! Thoroughly recommend.
Nicely themed bar with good selection of beers
We had such a fun evening here! Venue is lovely, cocktails were delicious and the staff were so accommodating. We also enjoyed a great bottle of wine thank you!
I've been in London for a week now and this is by far the best food I've had. The atmosphere was cute and cozy, drinks were great as well! Both waiters that helped us were personable and endearing, I have absolutely nothing to complain about except for the fact that I didn't see a Furby 🙃
Always lovely to come here! Great food (had the spicy chicken flatbread and the French toast with Nutella :) Staff are super friendly and nice. Nice clientele and they have some great books to read if your friends are running late (I read about Napoleon) Highly recommended!
Make a reservation
Order online
Find the best restaurant in London
An error has occurred! Please try again in a few minutes